"Adolescents and Parental Divorce" strives to give teenagers a voice, provide parents with a better understanding of the impact of divorce, and increase professionals’ knowledge about divorce’s role in adolescent emotions and behaviors.
Divorce, while commonplace, is often challenging and transformative for all family members. Adolescence is a distinct and powerful life period that may be impacted in many ways by parental divorce and remarriage. While teenagers may be cognitively able to understand the changes in the family, they are not immune to the emotional repercussions and need support in adjusting. "Adolescents and Parental Divorce" provides a comprehensive, balanced look at parental and teen responses to the life changes that marital breakup creates. Parents who are cognizant of their own issues and responses can help their teens survive and even thrive during the challenges that divorce brings.
Based on extensive research and years of experience, this work explores the issues that divorce creates including: adult reactions to divorce, custody arrangements, adolescents’ emotions and reactions, and long-term impact. Special issues such as interparental conflict, parentification, and parental alienation are addressed. Stepfamily formation and challenges are also explored in depth.
Suggestions for helping parents and teens cope include:
●Don’t rage when the actual feeling is pain. Cry instead.
●Love your teenager more than you hate your ex-spouse.
●Hostile interactions can turn you into a person you don’t like or respect. Manage your angry emotions.
●When your teen tells you they are fine, be assured they are not. Ask questions and listen.
●Becoming a “step” is easy, earning the role of parent takes time and patience.
●Make space for everyone, including a room, place at the table, and role in the family.
For many families, divorce can be a viable option. Divorce adjustment depends upon the choices made as the process unfolds. Adult and teen short-term reactions are inevitable but most will adapt and even grow from healthy coping strategies. This book is here to help with information, support, and commonsense advice.
Joanne E. Carlson, MSW, is a psychotherapist with over 40 years of experience working with adults and adolescents. She had a special interest in treating adolescents, working with them in a variety of professional settings since 1977. Joanne often worked closely with family law attorneys providing therapy (including court-ordered) for teenagers and families dealing with difficult divorces and stepfamily issues. She is the author of "The Parent Effect: How Parenting Style Affects Adolescent Behavior and Personality Development" (2011, NASW Press).
